chut iffa??

even im figuring it out. sorry folks!

Monday, November 29, 2010

fast track??

i am in a dilemma, should i or shouldn't i go for the fast track program?
i really want to stay here in kl. i can continue doing the things i love and passionate about,
be close to my family.
but over the years in melaka, i have found another family, my friends. how can i leave them?
all that we had been through together, those happy times, even sad times shared?

how can i not consider that. i love my friends.what if i stay and my friends decide to leave me? happened before. i don't think i can take it if ever it happens again. losing a friend hurts more than losing a lover. i lost 2. double whammy!  i just hope that i would not regret whatever decision that i would take in the future.

Friday, November 5, 2010

scc 7s!

haih. i really wanna play for this tournament! this was the chance for me to FINALLY play against India. dpt gak merasa hentam anak gajah. since, h**l*l x de choice lain but to put me in. damn! haih. nasib badan...
maybe next time. :s

blog? why?

having a blog never actually cross my mind, until now. i really need an outlet to express my feelings. why blog? its a better alternative than telling some one, most call friend, or best friend. telling one particular person means opening up, being vulnerable, to one person. by blogging? i dont give a shit who reads it. i have security issues. opening up, well, done that and it dint work for me. the more i open up, the bigger, deeper the wounds. 

share your problems. pfft! that is funny. when u open up to someone, they call it being clingy, if u dont, ur not making an effort to share, coz that is what friends do... share their problems.
 i have to trust someone to share. to be sharing something personal causes me to have care and love to that person. then when they decided to leave. CRASH!  i crash. 

i may show this strong, never give a shit and have no problems, well im not.